Ghosts of Christmas Past

Since my last post so much has happened.

Let’s back up to my last post, June 2015 where I wasn’t given full information by previous said supervisor. At that point I started looking for a new job. October & November I went to about 10 interviews, they were “interested” but weren’t hiring right then, which annoyed the f*** out of me as I wanted out of the job I was doing. Early December I got a call for an interview at another bank, in the collections department. I was excited as I wanted to get back to collections. The interview went great, that supervisor stated the hiring process would take awhile because they’re a bit “slow”. Later that month I was on my 2 week vacation…

I sat there in my living room after watching everyone open presents on Christmas morning…and I shit you not. I could hear my Dad’s voice (he’d been dead since 2007) say “You won’t be working at your job when you come back from vacation.” I must have had a startled look on my face because my oldest daughter said “Can you smell Grandpa Bill’s cologne too?!” I looked at her wide-eyed and said “Uhhhh, yeah.” Not saying a word how I just heard his voice in my head for fear I would be committed.

And so his words nagged at me for the next couple of days. After that I just blurted out to my husband “I don’t think I’ll be working at XXX Bank anymore.” He looked at me quizzically “Yeah, right.” Brushing my random statement away. I looked at him giving the “death stare” I said “No I’m serious.” “What makes you think that?” He asked. “Just a feeling I have.” And when I say that my husband knows that my gut feelings are 99.9% spot on.

Fast forward to January 5, 2015. I get to work, my dad’s words started ringing in my ears again. I walked straight to my supervisors office and said “So, is there anything you need to tell me before I start work?” Her face turned pale and she looked like she was going to pass out. She stuttered “uuhhh, welllll, no.” I gave her my one eyebrow up, questioning look at her and said “Uh, huh, that’s what I thought.” Walking away, knowing my days were numbered, and she knew that I knew.

Exactly 10 days later, I wasn’t even at my desk for 2 minutes and was called into her office. The HR lady was there, and I just gave my supervisor the “really?!” look as she knew that I had known waaaaay before this even was going to happen. I asked her to give me specifics on why they were “letting me go”… she couldn’t and was talking in circles. The more she talked, the more tunnel vision I had and my blood pressure was rising. Even the HR lady looked at the supervisor like “what the fuck?”

I slammed my opened palmed hand on the desk, looking at her disgustingly I said calmly looking her right in the eye, “Just stop”.  I stood up, the HR lady’s trying to hand me an envelope, “you can keep your COBRA information”. And I packed up my things, tears stinging my eyes, just furious, everyone scattered, whispers filled the air, I couldn’t leave quick enough, until I finally hit the nice cool air, and just bawled my eyes out. So many thoughts running through my head, “what about my kids”, “what will my husband say”, “what the fuck am I gonna do now”… I get to my car and my phone starts ringing off the hook. One credit union wants me to come in for an interview, next call from another bank, then a call from some store for a managerial position. WHAT. THE. HELL.

Driving home, new words in my head “FREE”, “time to focus on family”, “more time to concentrate on music teaching”.

I felt free and like a huge burden was off my shoulders. Although still angry because I honestly felt like I was set up to fail. I even told my supervisor’s boss this back in June, again in August & October. “Oh no, you’re not failing, you just need to slow down a bit.” Bullshit, I thought. All of it. BULL. SHIT.

Fast forward to today. My husband got his heart transplant a couple months ago, the girls are growing and hopefully both will continue doing well in school and I work another bank, in collections. The grass is definitely not always greener on the other side, it’s just another pasture with different bullshit.

I’m now determined more than ever & have made it my mission to sock away money, open my own little shop and never, ever, ever, EVER work for anyone else but me again. My goal is to have a firm foundation within 2 – 2 1/2 years.

Have I heard my Dad’s voice since last Christmas? Yes, but nothing like the information on that Christmas day. I wonder if my Dad will “visit” me again this Christmas and what prophetic information, if any, he will give me for the new year.

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